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January 2013

I created a few more Play-doh Disaster Magnet moments that I wanted to share just in case I don't have time for a drawing today. Sometimes, these are just.. well.. easier - in the grand scheme of creative endeavors. The first one (lightbulb-guy) was done when I was really stuck on a stumper of a programming problem at work one day. Oddly enough, shortly after creating the lightbulb, I actually came up with the solution to the problem.

I just started seeing a physical therapist to fix whatever is wrong with my left hip. On the referral, my orthopedic doctor wrote "capsulitis"-- according to my PT, this is a very general term identifying inflammation of the "capsule" surrounding the hip joint. I think it sounds like I'm taking too many drugs (capsules?). Either way, I haven't been to PT in almost 20 years. It's been so long that I almost didn't recognize my physical therapist (but it was really great to see him again).

I keep wanting to feel more motivated, and I keep doing things to try to motivate myself, but lately I feel like I'm in the biggest rut of my life to date. I'm no longer an athlete, my work is starting to bore me, and now my commitment to drawing is wavering. The light at the end of the tunnel is dimming. We've been stuck for a week in snow and extremely cold temperatures so I'm wondering if that's affecting me. I'm mentally and emotionally shutting down and I feel more introverted every day. I disappointed myself even more by doing only two drawings in four days.

Yesterday, my husband Jim said his knee was hurting more than usual (from arthritis), so I told him I would draw something to fix it. This is what I came up with (I'm not sure he liked it - but I'm not sure whether it's because he didn't think it would do the job or if he was just generally mortified as usual):

Sometimes while drawing, I try to come up with solution to my injury problems. This is what I came up with yesterday - for my hip injury.

It's been a while since I wrote a proper blog - and I don't know how many of my readers care about my delusional artistic endeavors. But to be fair, I always said I was doing my daily drawings for me - the only reason I'm posting them is to keep me honest. I'm hoping my drawings evolve into something, anything, but for now, they just keep going aimlessly. The exercise has taught me several things:

But teeth are exactly what I was thinking about when I started this drawing. And my jaw. This may be the first of a long series of tooth-drawing moments in my future if I decide to go ahead with the whole braces and orthognathic surgery thing (yep that's what they call it, I can't even pronounce it). I'm thinking about blogging the process - but only if I can get comfortable taking pictures of my face.

It's been a rough week - work stress as usual and three doctor appointments (periodontist, oral surgeon, and orthopod). Treatment of my shoulder may require surgery but for now we're just doing anti-inflammatory stuff because I don't want to miss 6-8 more weeks of swimming. My hip will require a physical therapist - to start. Mostly, I just want to be free of the pain. Seriously, I've been running/swimming/biking in pain for so long, I can't remember a time it didn't exist. I just expect it. Bracing myself for it is now my routine.

My husband thought today's drawing looked like a knot - specifically the "one in his back." I think I was distracted and worked on nothing more than a blob because my new pen was somehow destroyed overnight while soaking in cleaning solution (it appears the plastic part dissolved - well either that or someone or something dismantled it while I was asleep).

It never gets better. It never gets worse. It just always hurts, and I'm getting tired of it. And tired of canceled doctor appointments. And tired of doctors in general. I'm not giving up the thing I love to do until I cannot do it. So I live with the constant pain.

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